I always learn the hard way

So..... I'm 25. At this point in my life, I am on the road to self discovery. Figuring out who I am, who I want to be, how I think and how I act.  I know I should have started this years ago, but I was too busy.  
That's a lie. I just didn't want to.
Anyway, growing up, my mom always called me a pessimist. I'm guessing its because I am generally a pretty negative person.  I just thought I was being a Realist.  I also get annoyed often and that has been my biggest struggle thus far. I just have to remind myself that it will all be okay, take a deep breath and just shake it off (T. Swift 1989).  So now at the bitter age of 25, I am painfully learning that just isn't going to fly anymore.  I never thought I would say this but, I actually want to start being positive.  about EVERYTHING! but probably not everything.  I want to try and be a better daughter, aunt, sister, friend and stranger.  I definitely learn some tough lessons along the way.
Which brings me to what happened last night....

On Saturday afternoon, I called CVS pharmacy to refill a prescription because I procrastinated and waited until the very last day.  The pharmacist had told me on my prior visit, that I had one refill left.  Apparently that was not the case.  Then they told me I had to wait until Monday.  Now, this is not a big deal.  Or it shouldn't have been a big deal.  But to me, it was just another annoying thing, and forgetting that I was trying to be positive, I may have been a little rude to the pharmacist on the phone.  I just don't like people telling me there is nothing they can do.  What do you mean there's nothing you can do?! After some conversation he said he would call my doctor and have it Monday. But I'm pretty sure I ended the conversation with a thanks for nothing!

I get the call on last night from the CVS by my house that my prescription is ready.  Procrastinating once again, I wait until 9:30 to go.  I mean, it is right down the street, I didn't need that much time.  I pull up to the window and they look up my info and then the guy tells me the refill was sent to another location 7 miles away!! I saw that pharmacist I talked to, in the background and I thought, I bet he did that on purpose.... Realizing I'm short on time, I head to the other location.  After waiting almost 10 minutes in line, I give the lady at the window my info again and she looks it up.  It seems to be taking a minute...  Interesting. The lady returns and tells me that it was sent to a different location 3 miles away from that!!! hmmm... INTERESTING!!  At this point I really want to punch someone but obviously it isn't this poor lady's fault so I just smile. Such a big smile, tell her thank you and I drive away with approximately 9 minutes to get to my destination.  I pull up to the window. AGAIN.  Give the guy my info. AGAIN. But this time, It's there!!! halle-freaking-lujah!!!! I'm sure the guy did not care about my night but I told him how my pharmacist was out to get me and how he sent me on a wild goose chase.

Was this karma? Coincidence? Intentional? I have no idea but either way, I am taking it as a sign that when you are rude to people, you get sent 14 miles out of your way with a ticking clock.  As I drove away I just had to laugh to myself.  I felt that was the only thing that seemed necessary because if the pharmacist was the reason for this mix-up, it was pretty clever.  

I'm greeted by my lovely fur babies when I get home and I realize that everything going to be alright, but last night, I learned the hard way.

These are my confessions.... vol. 1

So I woke up the other morning and thought to myself, I can't believe how long I've been lying to people. Family, friends and even random strangers. Then the thought occurred to me. Why? I have been so consumed with how others perceive me, that I have convinced myself that I'm better off lying. How can I try and improve my life if I have spent so much time ashamed of it? So as of today, I no longer care. If I've lied to you, it's probably because I felt I couldn't trust you, and for that I apologize. For those of you who had no idea or I have shrugged off the subject, that is because I couldn't bring myself to lie to you and to the people who already know.... thank you for tolerating me.

The truth is, I was in a two year relationship with another girl. I loved her. She loved me. It was some of the best times of my life. Ultimately I made the decision that that particular lifestyle wasn't for me and that's ok. I believe that each individual has the right to love whoever they want and make decisions they feel are right. Although I no longer choose that for myself I would never regret my experience or look down on anyone who loves freely. I felt by lying to my friends and family, I could keep my feelings at a distance from everyone else and never actually have to face them. I felt I had a double life that people never knew about. Sure, it felt more comforting to not have everyone know my business, but I also missed out on a lot of opportunities to share my story and help others with similar issues. I felt like I disappointed my family so keeping it a secret was safe for them as much as it was for me.  I was ashamed.... but I'm not anymore nor do I have a reason to be. I learned more about myself and I have more respect for the importance of agency. So there it is. Plain and simple. I'm Sarah Trott. I love men but I've also loved a girl. I am a Mormon. I love my church. I am human.

how my iphone has taken over my life

If there was ever one creation that has been most influential to me, it is the iphone 4.

this small device has changed my world and brought so much joy into my life. not only can it save my life in the unfortunate case of an emergency, but also be the only light when darkness surrounds me..... literally, i have my own flashlight app that comes in handy almost everyday.

blah blah blah, ok now that we have my happiness out of the way... we can now discuss how it is taking over my life.

1. this is the first time i have been on my actual computer in FOREVER! pssshhh who even needs computers when you have an iphone. the only reason i am using this is because i couldn't upload the picture of the iphone to this website. dumb.

2. i have found myself accustomed to autocorrect. i will seriously be typing on the computer, make a typo, and just keep typing because i am so certain the computer will catch it and change the word for me. i get so frustrated when i actually have to erase a word and rewrite it!!!

3. i have the ability to be on facebook and words with friends 24hrs a day! that's right, nothing can get past me and there is never anything i don't see.

4. my friends and i do not even communicate with words anymore. we just send each other pics, videos, movie clips and anything else we can conger up.

5. i use gps and maps to get to places i already know. and if my blue dot goes off the purple path, you better believe i'm pulling over in a panic.

6. it has apps for EVERYTHING! know where the sex offenders live near you, random facts about boobs, bug squisher, rainbow unicorn attack.... so. many. apps.

7. i about cried when i found out i didn't get the white phone. i'm still bitter about it.

meh, that's all i feel like saying about it. being on this computer is making me tired. i like have to sit up to use it. lame.

This is why i'm single

Today's topic: Boys.

why i'm single
why i like being single
why boys don't like me

Conversation between my mother and cheyenne: M: i wonder why sarah isn't dating
C: why? she's only 21, she has a lot of time
M: but she is always out with her friends and doesn't seem to show much interest in finding someone.
C: SHE'S 21! Normal 21 yr olds go out every night with their friends. It's completely normal.
M: i don't know...... i'm worried

Now, this conversation may have been adapted to sound better in this particular post. I didn't really record everything as my sister was telling it to me, but you get the gist.
I Sarah Anne Trott, am breaking away from the "norm". It may sound strange that i am a 21 yr old mormom girl who is not expecting their 3rd child, but i am perfectly okay with this. I like my life the way that it is. Besides, i couldn't get a man even if i wanted to. I made a list of the reasons why.
-WHAT BOYS DON'T LIKE- (but for some reason i do them anyway)
-when you correct their grammar
-when you correct their spelling... and then call them names
-when you tell them their jokes are stupid, don't make sense, are more painful than getting run over by a semi truck etc...
-when you ask to punch them repeatedly because your brother taught you how
-when you spend approx. 0 hrs getting ready and always show up places in basketball shorts or pajamas
-when you comment on every story they tell you with, this is stupid, you don't make sense, this is more painful than getting run over by a semi truck etc...
-when you tell them their clothes don't match
-when you talk about them to your friends even when they are in close range and can hear everything you say
-when you tell them the guy you're talking to every moment is just a friend
-when you publicly humiliate them on a regular basis

Quite frankly, this list could go on and on but i am going to cut this a little short. Yes i am mormon, and unmarried, and not in a serious relationship, and do make out with random italian gentlemen at nightclubs, but hey! what are you going to do. So for the time being, i will remain a free bird.... until someone knocks me off my perch.. and when that happens, i am in for a rude awakening.
oh well.

The main street mexi months

here is everything you need to know:

Morgan and I LOVE mexican food. end of story.

in our endeavour to express our fondness of this particular cuisine, we have put into action...

THE MAIN STREET MEXI MONTHS

we developed this plan after countless years of having the exact same conversations.

Morgan: "i'm hungry"

Sarah: "me too"

M: "lets go eat"

S: "where?"

M&S (in perfect unison): "MEXICAN!"

duh! you can never get tired of mexican food. this is a fact. so our new plan is to find the best mexican food Arizona has to offer. in order to do this, we drive to the sketchiest parts of town and look for the most rundown hole-in-the-wall. there lies perfection.

M: "how about here?"

S: "nah, it looks too clean and has a drive-thru."

M: "yah, real mexican places do not have drive-thrus."

S: "ewww look over there!"

M: "perfect, let's eat there"

and that's all there is to it. so far we have traveled to main street mesa and downtown phoenix in search of the best food.

Tacos Saguaro

Adrian's

Rito's

I don't know what it is about these places, but Fergie's GLAMOROUS song is on replay in my head every time we go out. It could be the amazing atmosphere, the friendly people or the fact that we look like a million bucks before going out in public. in case you were all wondering, tevas and socks are totally in!

The Secret Diary of a Fat A**

Through a little bit of pondering, I have added two more steps to my program.

Step 3: Location location location!!!

Basically I just think it would be a wise decision to stay away from certain locations where it would be easy to fall back into old habits. I will give you a completely HYPOTHETICAL situation and make up a completely HYPOTHETICAL scenario in order to make my point.

-There is a magical place in a far away land that goes by the name, Gold Canyon. In this land lies the Renaissance Festival. Suppose you were to go to this "Renaissance Festival" with a few of your friends. You are walking around for most of the day and you start to feel that rumble in your stomach. Believe me, you will not find a granola bar or a vegetable option anywhere near by, so you go for the next best thing. Steak on a stake. DUH! There is nothing better than a nice juicy piece of meat with a wooden stick plunged right through the middle. This makes it possible for any person to walk and eat at the same time, THUS burning off the food while you eat it. Sounds dandy right? Wrong. Before you know it, you've finished the steak, an extra large pickle, a nice long slab of original beef jerky, a surplus of Dr. Pepper and a chocolate covered s'more. WTF! What just happened?! You try to justify these eating habits to yourself, but who are you fooling anyway? No one is buying this crap. What a day.

Now like I mentioned before this is completely HYPOTHETICAL, but the moral of the story is not to set yourself up for failure. Don't think you can walk into an ice cream store and be content with your sobe life water and bowl of special k. If you just avoid the places that are designed to trap you, we can put this guilt madness to bed and you won't be forced to run everywhere until next thursday.

Step 4: The right place to eat

If you really want to work on portion control, I would recommend eating food that you don't like. My least favorite food ever is Asian food. I don't know what it is, but I pretty much hate that shiz. So if I feel like going out to dinner with my friends, I might suggest an Asian restaurant. This may sound like a stupid idea but really, its genius. I'll find the only thing on the menu that seems tolerable. After a few minutes, I will get sick of it and tell everyone that I'm full. BAM! Congratulations, the first step to portion control is done. You will have eaten enough to satisfy your stomach and if the food is really gross, you will have lost your appetite all together and not even be hungry anymore. Fool proof.

Please note that some of these suggestions are not for everyone. I am a professional and therefore know what i'm doing. Most of the time.

The Secret Diary of a Fat A**

- I will refrain from using bad language not only for the sake of my young and impressionable nephew and niece, but also because my mother is not opposed to washing my mouth out with soap. Plus I stand for truth and righteousness at all times, and in all things and in all places:)

On the off chance that the title did not give it away I, Sarah Anne Trott, am documenting my accounts on how I will go from FAT to FAB before swimsuit season. Which, unfortunately in Arizona, means I have approximately 3days. Since that is obviously not going to happen, I will give myself a more realistic time line. For now, that is undetermined. Go figure.

I plan on sticking to a 12-step program. I have not made up all the steps yet so I will only share the ones on the top of my head.

STEP 1: Cut out QT

Dear QT Employees,
I know this may put a dent in your sales revenue, but there comes a time in a persons life when they just need some space. That time is now.

You know things are bad when your friend says "This is a bad batch of Dr. Pepper, lets go to the other one." You then proceed the 2 miles to the next QT and find even more items that you never even needed in the first place.

STEP 2: IHOP away from heart attacks on a plate.

Where can one even begin with Ihop! Oh how I praise and curse the day you opened 2 seconds away from my house. I have developed a simple test to tell whether or not you are an Ihop addict. Please answer the following questions, but only if you are prepared for the outcome.

Do you need a menu, or do you pretty much have everything already memorized?

Does the waiter approach you and say, "hey didn't I see you this morning"?

Do you know the morning crew?

Do you know the afternoon crew?

The night crew?

THE GRAVEYARD CREW??

Are you friends with any of them on facebook?

Do you ask to substitute your fruit for an order of cinnastack pancakes?

Can you recognize some of the employees vehicles in 5 seconds or less?

Are you contemplating having your rehearsal dinner, birthday party or any other special events there?

Do you dream about it?

Think about it?

Crave it?

I could go on forever, but my advice to you is to get help now! Before it's too late.

There is only so long the "its just baby fat" and the "I'm not fat, i'm just big boned" will fly. In the humble words of my friend, and future president of the United States, Bryson Michael Taggart.... I am tired of being a Fatty McButter Pants. I hope to gain some self-control and hopefully a nice one-piece swimsuit ready body. So with the help of Melanie, who will be my work-out buddy/girl who drags me around/ girl who will yell at me to stop sleeping on the treadmill/ girl who will dangle a donut in front of me so I will do another sit-up.... the vigorous diet and exercise begins today.

Unless i'm too tired. Then I will start tomorrow.